Trees! Listen to me!

At the dusk of his life, Sjeng the pug addressed his long time companions one last time:

«Trees! Listen to me! I need to tell you how grateful I am:

  • Thank you for hosting squirrels in your branches, I had lots of merry moments chasing them.
  • Thank you for your shade, I had so many peaceful siestas there.
  • Thank you for your autumn leaves layering the floor, I was cheerful when rolling and jumping in them.
  • Thank you for being such comfy pee spots.
  • And thank you for the rotten fruits I could eat, puke and eat again.

But my time as come and truth be told I abused your kindness. You aren’t meant to be just for my doggy pleasure, you’re destined for greatness!


Trees! Listen to me! I’m now bringing you the Knowledge. Your life has been, is and I fear will always be too static! There you’re, growing your roots deeper and deeper. Is this ever going to stop? Remember your Seneca, [you’re] not born for one corner; the whole word is [your] native land.

Look at me! I drool and I sneeze, spreading my cells everywhere I go. Be like me, be a Sjeng! The world is out of breath. You’re much needed, your seeds are much needed. Trees! The time has come to uproot yourself and start wobbling around.»

Sjeng concluded his rant with a ground-and-root-breaking fart. Wobbling his way back to die in the arms of his beloved Mistress, he thought to himself: «Damn trees. They deserved a good talking to, I guess.»