Loud music filled the room, making it hard to hear anything else. #3

Loud music filled the room, making it hard to hear anything else. She could still hear her thoughts and dreams looping in her head. As far as she could remember, this very music always had worked as a catalyser, enabling her to reach some different, sometimes higher, level of awareness. It was scary at times. Seing all the constraints around her and others, she could understand what the near future would look like. And very few people enjoyed being reminded of their lack of control.

She had realised years ago that it was the same for her mother. It was no accident that they had been listening to the music together, almost religiously, when Ruth was still a baby. Her mother had discovered it in her early teen years and had been listening to it daily ever since. Sometimes for hours, sometimes for minutes, but daily contact was essential to her sanity. Ruth had a more measured relation to it. Maybe because she had received heavy doses as an infant. She had somehow stockpiled this energy for times of drought.

Dry spells had come and passed, her reserve was still there. Today was different though. She had intensely felt the need for a full immersion the whole week. She knew it to be useless but couldn’t help wondering how these cycles worked. What could be their purpose? Her mother was clueless, she had never experienced them, or so she pretended. She had been pushing Ruth to discover things by herself before, lying was certainly not barred from her repertoire.

And so there was Ruth, sitting in her favourite room, watching the density of music raising by the minute, waiting for the journey to start.

___________________________________________________

Inspired by https://www.thefirstline.com/ winter 2020 issue. Check it out! and check out my other takes on this first line :)